Snippets

My grip tightened on my fiance's hand and I didn't realise I was holding my breathe until the vehicle has passed. He looked at me in suprized concern and asked if I was ok. I let my breathe out and replied "When those Toyota trucks pass you with a group of young men sitting in the back tray, does it remind you of the war too?". He nodded and told me he understood. We were in-land and this is where the war was fought (primarily). On the back of these trucks was exactly how the rebels travelled into the villages to murder and destroy during the ten year civil war here. All I could think and wonder was how the people must feel when they see those toyota's coming through their villages. Do they also hold their breathe and flash back to the horrific scenes of not so long ago?

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Yesterday it felt like my heart sank to my feet. I realised I had naturally allowed myself to slip into selfish thinking. It's rainy season at present...every day...for the past few months. During the week it doesnt feel like such a big deal. At present we generally don't get out on the deck before the sun goes down anyway as surgery days are long and finish late. However when the weekend comes and the days are there to escape the ship and step onto solid ground we dive at it. Week after week though I've been finding myself dissapointed to wake up, look out the port hole and see rain pouring down into the sea below. Frustrating when you are looking forward to a day of relaxing at the beach after a busy week. Today though, I felt selfish as a friend shared how already in Freetown 50 people have died from the rain. All I could think was "How?" and then I understood that the slums and ghetto's here are all at the bottom of hills. When you see it, your mouth drops towards the earth-to see the dirt and the tin shacks built upon one another-the water runs down and drowns them. My heart felt sad and it was a good awakening that this rainy season (which has been called a "light one") doesnt just affect my weekend plans but many lives and families survival here. How truly good it is for one to gain perspective.